Title of fic:
So Much MineAuthor: wedspawnLength:
35 chapters; 100,000+ wordsLink: So Much MineTitle of Review:
So Much to tell about So Much MineWord Count:
When you first click on Chapter 1 of So Much Mine, you’re unsure of where the next 36 chapters will lead you. You’re presented with a furious, exhausted, grungy Jaejoong in need of escape, and an infuriated Yunho, determined to bring Jaejoong home.
The story is complicated, not because the plot holds many twists and turns but because of the obstacles all 5 boys have to overcome for their lives to contain mutual happiness. The story explains that Jaejoong loves Yunho, and is fully aware of what those consequences hold but Yunho doesn’t want to admit to those emotions he holds within himself because all of his life he’s been told that loving another man is the worst sin a man can commit. Jaejoong is a wounded kitten, looking for love in a stubborn man and trying to erase the memories of times past where survival was the main key.
Junsu, Yoochun and Changmin are never left out and never ignored. They play a large part in the role of trying to get the two blind blumbering animals into each other’s arms. The plan never goes perfectly because the author never fails to mention the fact that they are the biggest boy group in South Korea; and that there are more girls watching their every move than there are people in the city.
As the pages begin to open and you are introduced into the Dong Bang household, you’re unsure of who to sympathize with: Jaejoong, for all of us have felt unrequited love, Yunho, who wants something so badly but can’t disobey 20 years of discipline or the members where they must watch as the group comes near the edge of destruction and separation before Jaejoong and Yunho find their place not only within the group but within each other.
You learn of Jaejoong’s past and what things he encountered as a growing child. You realize that Jaejoong is a wounded kitten not simply because of a neglected family but the consequences of family removing him from their presence. What can Jaejoong do but survive? And he tries his damn hardest to keep himself alive just to prove to himself that at the end of the day, his life is worth living, because he knows he can make it. He encounters a live long friend named Auntie Scarlet, whom becomes a mother figure for Jaejoong during his time before SM and after the formation of the group.
Aunt Scarlet is a friend, a mother; and the only family to Jaejoong has ever known. Auntie Scarlet is everything Jaejoong needs and throughout all of So Much Mine and the next 3 books, she continuously brings her knowledgeable head into the picture giving the boys advice when they ask for it. She is a presence that reminds us that DBSK are not just 5 gorgeous boys but are human beings living with no freedom, and entertaining without stop. Auntie Scarlet brings in the sense of reality that other authors forget to mention: that they are just one of us and there always is that one friend, one older figure that you can turn to when things are beginning to throw themselves into chaos.
Yunho’s comprehension of the feelings is not something that can be easily brushed off. The author takes her time and structures the growth of Yunho slowly. She mentions parts of his life that seem meaningless but are such huge factors into who he has become and how he reacts to Jaejoong. Family is a large part of Yunho’s success but also a large factor in Yunho’s naiveté.
In his time with the other 4 members he has grown to be stronger, a better man but there is always the lingering feeling that is left in his stomach when his eyes brush over Jaejoongs. The appearance of Jaejoong in his life so many years ago, throws his equilibrium over the edge. He resists the urge and resists the touching and knows what he feels is wrong. But when Jaejoong approaches him, and makes him feel things he doesn’t quite understand but desires to know more, he is slapped across the face and reminded of how taboo this kind of relationship is between him and Jaejoong and the kind of society they live in.
You are never left doubting at the end of the chapter or at the end of the page but you always desire more. This novel is one of those novels that if you’ve read it once you’ll never forget neither the character development nor the situations that arise through the 100,000 words. The story leaves you wanting more and more, page after page, chapter after chapter. Your heart is squeezed tightly when things seem to be going well and in the blink of an eye or a turn of a page your heart is at the bottom of our stomach, churning at the words written on the page.
The positive is overpowering; the intricate characters that intertwine within the plot can stand simply on its own but some would say the language and the chapters are the down side. The story is a difficult read, one of older fans using profound language to describe the dimensions of the relationship. The gothic and dark undertones emphasize the taboo of the relationship, the darkness of the world they live in. Some find it difficult to wade through the words to find the true meaning, some find the words hauntingly beautiful and crave the words to make themselves feel closer to the story.
This novel is not for the faint-hearted at a word count of 100,000; along with the writing style the author has chosen the text can be intimidating. But you never forget nor regret that at the end of this one book in the TVXQ fandom that the struggles Yunho goes through and Jaejoong’s hardships throughout life make the end so much sweeter.
The struggles and pains are detailed within the story and the readers along with the characters suffer with each other until happiness is within sight.
At the end when things seem to be looking up, you’re left with a sense of disappointment because you never want this story of Yunho and Jaejoong’s love to end.